Tough Times

I'm glad the holidays are finally coming to distract me from other things! A lot has happened last month- I talked a little bit about what Ian was going through, but didn't even mention anything I've been going through.

October is a rough month for me. My father would have celebrated his 56th birthday on the 30th. And the 15th marked the 10 year anniversary of my mother's death. I still can't believe it's been 10 years, and yet at the same time I barely remember that time of my life and think- really, it's only been 10 years? It seemed like a lifetime ago. I've been thinking a lot about them lately- especially when I'm dealing with Serra. I have a whole new gratitude in my heart for what my parents did for me and am amazed at how much patience they had with me- because, let's be honest, I was probably their "tough" one.

I wonder what it would have been like to watch them play with Serra- to have them here for those kinds of moments. But at the same time sometimes I think that it's easier for me to think of the distant future because I have a very clear goal in mind. Not only do I want to guarantee my place in the Celestial Kingdom, but I have two parents who have already passed through the veil that I need to work towards being with again. It puts a whole new perspective on why I need to endure to the end. I don't think I would ever choose to have them leave so early, but since they have it kind of gives it a little bit of a silver lining to think that way.

I love my parents very much and hope they are still proud of me- I try to think when I'm making choices not only about what would Jesus want me to do, but what would my parents have me do- what would they have done- what would they tell me to do if they were here. In a lot of ways I feel like they are still guiding me in my life, just in a different way from most people. I have felt their presence a lot when I needed it most and I'm thankful that I've been able to have those opportunities.

I've also been thinking about them a lot again because of another big change that has happened in my life. Ian and I have found out that I'm pregnant! We're very excited to welcome this addition to our family. As of right now my due date is in June, but that may change at my next doctor's appointment- we'll keep everyone updated. I was hoping to keep it hidden for a while longer, but I've already started showing- and anyone who knew I was trying to lose weight would question the sudden change in my belly! So, it's announced earlier than I might have liked, but that's okay- it's fun to get the congratulations from everyone.

Speaking of the holidays, I guess I'll spill the beans on what we're doing for that. Thanksgiving we've decided to drive down to Utah and stay with Paige. But we'll be going out to eat for the big meal [it's cheaper and that way we can get all the food choices we want without buying it, making it, and cleaning up after it!] We'll be doing our Black Friday shopping in the Orem area and probably coming back home that Saturday.

Christmas will be here in Idaho with Ian's brother and sister-in-law and possibly a friend of Ian's from high school and her little boy. It should be a fun group and we look forward to having company- even if we'll be a little cramped in our townhouse. I hope each of you have some happy holidays! We'll be sure to post pictures and stories of our fun- hopefully each of you do too!