I guess you sow what you reap. I love Idaho so far and the people I've met, but I've had a hard time trying to feel like I'm making new lasting relationships because none of my other ones have lasted. Some of them I can look back and say I did something wrong, but honestly for most of them I have no idea what happened. I thought it was just life- you grow up and move away, you have a family of your own and you lose touch. But through the last couple of years I've learned that I'm apparently the only one!
I'm barely on talking basis [if you count leaving occasional comments on each others' blogs] with my best friend since we were 4. I'm "friends" on Facebook and that's about it with my best friend since we were 6. I got a baby announcement card in the mail with no note and only a 1 paragraph email prior notice of her even being pregnant from my best friend since we were 12. My other best friend since I was about 14 and she was 13, we comment on each others' blogs and used to have the occasional phone call, but hey- she has 4 kids and has lived in a different state than me for the last 9 years! My high school friends haven't really talked to me since high school. My college friends are the same way. The women I knew in the ward we lived in for 3 years in Orem- I left when I was pregnant with Serra- barely remember me when I last went to visit. Now I've left other friends in Lehi and I can already see those friendships fading. So part of me wants to say, "what's the point?"
Ian and I used to laugh about how everywhere we went if we sat down first, no one would ever sit near us- at school, church, restaurants, etc. But now I almost wonder... do people sense something about me? I know I've kept a little distance because of losing people in my life, but I feel like once I've opened up to someone I let them see the real me. Maybe I'm still holding something back though- maybe I view every friendship as temporary and so that's why that's all it ever is. Perhaps I'll never know. So to those of you reading this who used to be a close friend of mine and we've sort of lost contact, I'm sorry- whether it was my "fault" or not. I consider myself lucky for at least being able to find new friends in each new season of my life- even if I wasn't able to keep those same friends for as long as I might have liked.
Today was our 6th wedding anniversary- time really does fly! We didn't do anything spectacular today since it's a Sunday [makes it kind of difficult to celebrate], but Ian bought me some flowers and we went out to eat yesterday. We decided not to do anything too big because we've been having a lot of purchases lately with furniture, etc. for our new place. Also, I bought us the next in line of House, The Office, and Everybody Loves Raymond to add to our collections. Otherwise, it was just nice to note the occasion and share the moment with Serra.
